Wednesday, 19 May 2021

Fight Till the Last Man Standing


"Bro, I am having high fever since 2 days. I tried Dolo 650 mg but it keeps coming back. I think it got me."

This was the conversation I had with my friend on 27th April 2021, who lives in Delhi. When the capital of India was not leaving the news channels for a minute due to all the wrong reasons (lack of beds in hospitals, oxygen shortage, unavailability of Remdesivir and Covid-19 testing).  

I calmed myself and replied "take rest, drink fluids as much as you can, keep temperature under control and let me talk to Mukki (Dr. Mukesh, Tatanagar)." And same night I connected both of them through a conference call and later shared their numbers. 

From that day onwards every next day became a challenge, I text him everyday "what's up? How you doing?" then wait patiently for his reply (usually it took hours, which seemed longer than usual). Depending upon his physical state we would either text or call. Every day I try to analyse his status by hearing his muffled voice, cracking sound of his surroundings, and duration of our call. Initial 3-4 days were very tough, I could feel his struggle for day to day chores such as boiling water for taking steam, heating food or washing daily wear. I didn't know how I could elevate his spirits and keep him doing whatever Mukki advices (medicine, breathing exercise, steam, and timely food). I knew he is mentally strong, but physical limitation can break anyone living alone. 

During those testing time, I came to know his elder brother (Bangalore) and elder sister with her family member (Jharkhand) were also affected by the same unforgiving virus. That moment I really understood the meaning of pandemic where geographical boundaries no longer have any relevance. Now, it became essential for me to not let him dive into any negative thoughts, even though initially it was a futile effort. I was not seeing any sign of progress, he was taking Paracetamol tabs as morning/evening snacks and fever kept coming back without those tabs. Deep down, I was worried and didn't know how long this will go. But one thing I knew and believed that if it is not getting worse then it is getting better. It was only a matter of few days and he would be kicking back to healthy boots.

Once I had a conference call with him and his sister, she was going through same cycle of fever and paracetamol tabs. Her voice was trembling, we could feel the pain and discomfort she was in. I just hanged up and resisted calling her again till she gets well. I didn't know why I did that, may be I didn't have courage to bear the pain of being helpless when my close ones were suffering. The fear of unwanted and unforgiving lurking all around us, can make anyone frighten and I was not brave enough.

Somehow, slowly but steadily situation started improving, I could feel the strength through his voice again. And, Yes I was praying not only for him but for everyone to be safe from this invisible enemy of humankind. 

Now, after 15-16 days of our first conversation, I heard a rejoiced voice of him, asking me how to thank someone who is far away but never let him feel so. "Bro, Mukki took care of me, without his guidance and support,  I could have not recovered this fast. I don't know how I can ever repay his untiring efforts and kindness." I said don't worry we will order something and have a virtual dinner together, Mukki would be much happy to have us, far but together. 

Delhi and other cities are still recovering from the siege of pandemic but my friend has recovered so do million others. During this cross-firing of virus and vaccine many unfortunate ones didn't make to the safe zone. We lost many and still losing, that doesn't mean we have surrendered but we are fighting and we will be till we save the last man standing.  

FYI, Dr. Mukesh and thousands like him are giving telephonic advice to millions of Covid-19 infected patients throughout the country. We salute such front line warriors who care for others more than of themselves. 


Monday, 3 May 2021

Chakravyuh: The Maze

 Abhimanyu and Arjun

One who knows it is a trap but still goes into risking his life because he knows it is important even though he couldn't be able to solve (first wave)..- Curse of  Abhimanyu 

However, one who has full knowledge of it from the beginning, loses his loved ones (family and friends) but still goes in, because there is no one else to do it (Second wave).- Duty of Arjun

Abhimanyu didn't want to regret that he didn't try, Arjun didn't have time for remorse both went into Chakravyuh to fulfill their duty. 

It is never meant to be easy when you are at war, no matter how well you prepare you will lose some, you will save some but you can't quit before it gets over.

Whatever the name we give, the pandemic has changed the families forever. There is hardly any day when we are not hearing about our love ones, close ones, known ones, unknown ones, famous ones or nameless ones are fighting the never-ending battle to breathe free. No one has ever seen this kind of devastation where members in a family are affected at different geographical locations and not able to meet each other. This kind of helplessness hasn't been seen by any living human, where everyone is praying and hoping not to be the next victim of breathlessness.

We have been witnessing sadness, anger, frustration, agony, and state of uncertainty in everyone. We are judging everyone's actions including states, governments, people, healthcare, religious gatherings, public functions, social traditions and more. It is difficult to blame one for this mass grieving, we all are complicit however some contributed more than other and few saved more lives than anyone else.

Then, there is a sliver lining, seeing the worst moments of human life, few (Krishna) have come forward irrespective of their caste and creed they are helping fellow humans in distress. There are millions of nameless warrior at front line away from their own family saving lives of unknowns. We are reading news of many who sold their belonging to save few, some one drove thousand miles to save life of his friend, children turned grown up to take care of their parents, neighbors are calming each other, flatmates/colleagues are taking care of loners. There are many health care professionals, who are trying to be in reach of everyone and guide them through this maze of helplessness. Then there are millions who contribute through social media by multiplying the SOS calls for medicine, oxygen, beds, and food.

Between the margins of good or bad we have silver line of hope, which says we can overcome anything if we stick together and give hope to each other.



This banyan tree symbolizes hope of thousands, who climbed to the top of Kishkindha mountains (Hampi), walked bare feet in scorching sun to tie a bag of hope in front of Maa Shakti (Goddess of Nature and all living forces) temple. All who have come here share the same hope that things will become better and will be taken care of.
Right now, we all are carrying our small bags of hope that our affected members of family and friends will recover full and fast. We are tied together, maybe at different branches but in the same tree.

Lets have the hope that we will see a better tomorrow together.

- rituraj



Wednesday, 24 February 2021

A girl from mountains

 

Let me tell the story of a girl from snowclad mountains, who came to plains to meet mortals.

It was a sunny day in a countryside playground, when first time, I saw a slim but fearless girl giving tough competition to people (double to her weight). Her features make her unique rather distinct, she is a no-nonsense girl who doesn’t take “no” as an answer and “yes” as submission. 

Later within weeks I came to know she has joined our group; however, we still teased her for being an outsider (came from another group) and kept asking her loyalty tests. Slowly rather precisely she took over the reins of the group and start managing everything in her own subtle way.

We used to have tea/coffee breaks and she came to all without fail even though she hardly drinks any. The more we work together more we know it is not the work that binds us but her kindness and positivity towards people.

I remembered once she came to my home on my birthday (hardly known to people) with my other very good friend to give me a surprise. Both took a lot of trouble of getting fresh cake and making it to my home without giving the slightest hint that they were coming. This is in her nature to go the extra mile to make people around her happy.

In the last three years, I have witnessed many up-downs in the group, but she never stopped spreading her smile around. The cosiest relation she had with few and with rest the banter she shared never faded. Her meticulous accuracy and neatly written records made me wonder how she could do all without getting tired and bored. But she kept doing what she does best to keep everything in order and everyone orderly.

We used to plan a lot for our road trips, but it never happened however, we went to many places in and around the city. And always a soothing but energetic effect when she is around something like fire in ice.

In last two years, many have moved, and the social dynamic of groups have changed dramatically. All the changes made us work together more often than before. To my surprise, she took my awkward stubbornness wholeheartedly made working a pleasant experience. Where I always valued her opinions and thoughts with priority, however, she used to keep my words as a stone marked and show respect not in words but in action. There were times when nothing worked, days and days spent doing the same without results but she never stopped doing. I was in shades of frustration and exhausted too but she always says "we will do it again Sir, it will come this time". I never understood what gives her this unlimited positivity but it spilt over me too with time. 

With all passing years, I turned protective of her, but She never needed any. Her no-nonsense attitude sometimes brings troubles too (avalanches). In the many stories of her avalanches, we always know she is right but still, we try to calm her and let the victims of the avalanche rescued. I heard once she gave proper teaching to a hospital's staff for stepping in an already crowded elevator. She was right to stop her and teach her the principles they preach but do not follow. Still, we calm her down saying let it go, people aren't going to change.

Being away from Mountains she never let mountains away from her, the firmness and head over shoulder attitude always maintained her rebellious nature like a torrential river of Himalayas. During the last year of the upside-down state of all, she was also petrified, during those time I wished she could have stayed with us. However, there was no dearth of her well-wishers and she like the branches of Pine survived the months of snowfall and came out with fresh leaves of resilience.

Whenever she was at my home, we never felt that we have called her, it felt like she was living there for ages. Sometimes or most of the times she just tied up with my better half and take all the revenge of my teasing on her. They make a formidable team and I have no other option than surrender to the mighty forces of nature. It is hard to find out when she became part of the family without letting me know that, she knows almost everyone in the family. I think even I knew most of her closed/loved ones (a rarity for me).

There is no denying that I have learned many things from her, such as being pleasant to people around you, no matter what it takes to be available for family and take care of sibling (her sister is inseparable to her) and most importantly never be shy to show emotions even people call you sensitive.

Now she will be moving away in the search of her dreams, to meet new people, to spread more happiness, to create a new aura of kindness, this may be a long break to see her again but we will be connected to her always.

P.S. Have everything that you have ever wished for.

Be the north star of the winter nights when the moon and sun hide, you may be alone in the sky but will be the brightest star who shines when others fade and die.

-rituraj

Sunday, 22 November 2020

Mahaparv Chhath महापर्व "छठ"

What comes to your mind when you hear the word "Chhath"? 

Let me tell you what this one word means to millions of us.

The early winter, when fog just starts to settle in the silent night and cold morning, the aroma of the air mixed with smoke from wood coal, desi ghee, and winter flowers make it so addictive that from the far away one can feel it. The preparation for Chhath starts from Diwali or one can say Diwali never gets over till it reaches to the banks (Ghats) of Ganges (Ganga)1. However, our counting of days starts from Vijyadasmhi (विजयादशमी)2, the day we see off mother to her home in Ganga and come back with the thought that we will see her again at these Ghats. 

After six days from Diwali, the mother of all festivals starts for us. It's very natural for all of us to stockpile Diwali firecrackers for Chhath, and show off our ammunition in those nights and days. The flickering lights and decoration on walls stay for days till we consume all Thakua/Thekua (the iconic sweets made with wheat flour, sugar, ghee, dry fruits and lots of love)3

Apart from other festivals, Chhath is really special for children, where they have to wait patiently for four days watching all the preparation but can't touch anything till it is offered to Sun (Bhagwan Surya) and Mother nature (Chhathi Maiya). Our mothers and anyone willing to be part of the preparation have to observe fast and maintain Shatvik practices, however, we as kids have to test our patience. Something like waiting in front of a sweet shop, doing all necessary chores to be there and watch with hope that these days may pass faster as we look at them. Whatever the age of persons at homes, during these days mothers are the supreme leader, nothing can be moved and touched without their permission, if one dares to do that, then a person has to go through all the importance of purity (Shativikta) and guilt of spoiling the festival. 

The first day as we call it Nahay Khay and as the name suggests everyone has to Eat only after taking a Bath. The speciality of the day is the food, bottle gourd (Lauki) without much of spices, boiled rice, and, gram (Chana) daal cooked over woods in an earthen pot or bronze vessel. I can bet on this recipe, it can't be replicated in any restaurant, the simplicity of the food makes it so delicious that one can't hold self for overeating. Anyway, this is just the beginning of truckload of work ahead. In the coming four days, none can be jobless, the entire environment, almost every household is somehow involved in this festival.

The preparation involves buying fruits for three days offering, preparing thakuas for all the dalas/saup (bamboo baskets) 4  5 from freshly washed, sun-dried and grounded wheat, laddoos from rice flour (same way), and materials for puja (worship of Chhathi Maiya). As a kid, the most important work we get is observing everything without touching, we have to be ready early (the bath is compulsory, if lucky then you will get hot water otherwise, it will turn hot after touching your body). We used to be a silent task-force who help in everything without disturbing the decorum with the hope that the first and largest share of thakua will be given afterwards.

The second day called as Kharna and Lohanda, from this day fasting starts. The devotees keep Nirjala vrat (without food and water) till evening when the first Pooja starts. They eat prasad in the night which is being offered to the deities (usually non-salt items, like Kheer, Puri, sweets, and, fruits). This meal will give them the divine energy for the upcoming days of Nirjala vrat. 

The third day, Sajhka Arak (Sandhya Arghya: the evening prayer) from Kharna, days of preparation starts and goes till the evening of next day for some family it goes whole night (no. of thakuas (X 5 or 10) = no. of dala = no. of family members). In these days every street is filled with the aroma of ghee, wheat flour and fried dry fruits. It does not matter how affluent a family is, every home prepare them with the same enthusiasm. As the evening progress, the Chhath songs (it plays continuously from Nahay Khay) and sound of crackers turn louder. 

People from all walk of life start taking dalas on their heads (only job men are entitled to do) and walk towards Ghats with beelines of females and kids dressed up in new clothes. However, for the sake of convenience and avoiding the crowd of thousands, most of us prefer to do pooja in the home. Either a permanent or makeshift Ghat (a small pit) is usually made in open and decorated with banana trees and sugarcane branches. Those who are observing fast can offer to Sandhya Surya (setting Sun) while standing in waist-deep water and rest can finish the offering with Gangajal and milk. Then done for the day, hordes all the stuff back home and keep in the cleanest place (Pooja ghar) for the next morning. This night seems the longest night for the one observing fast and likes of us who are waiting for thakuas

Finally, fourth Day Bhorka Arak (Pratha Arghya: the morning prayer), the most significant day, when no one puts alarm for the morning as the sound of crackers and Chhath songs will definitely tell "it is time to wake up". We used to get up as early as 4:00 AM, however, waking is not the bravest thing it is to take bath when hot water is the most prized procession. However, as people say and feel groundwater is hot early in the morning, so water from hand pumps, wells and river is the best solution in villages rather heating water. So trying to be bravest, we turn quickest and in seconds finish the morning routine and become ready for the pooja. 

Whatever we do, we can't beat mothers in this, they are the earliest birds and night owls. Before we start anything, the dalas are rearranged, thakuas with rest of others are replaced and everything is renewed. As the procession of dalas move to Ghats, everyone takes their job seriously so do we? The Ghari Ghant (the temple bell made up of bronze) and Shankh (the conch shell) are our departments and we keep them as a prize possession. As the mother starts morning pooja towards the rising sun while standing in waist-deep water, we line up to finish this with arka (arghya) of Gangajal and milk. After all the dalas, final offering happens and then devotees come out of the water while thanking Bhagwan Surya and Chhati Maiya for the success of the festival and well-being of all the family members. We start playing ghari ghants and Shankh more like being break free from untouchability restriction rather a celebration of the festival.

Now, after a day-long and more than 36 hours continuous fast (Nirjala Vrat) devotees are allowed to break the fast with prasad. In our homes, the first thing we do search for prasad from Ghats and get our Baddhi (the sacred thread to wear in the neck) from mother then go for Thakuas. This is a kind of feast where everyone and every house is celebrating. 

Chhath is not like any other festivals which one can celebrate individually, it is like an emotion of togetherness, a feeling of being with nature, a culture of bringing everyone in the family, friends, and society together. Whenever one gets a chance to visit or observe Chhath then must go there, and those who know this shouldn't be missing this. 

Chhath Parv ki Hardik Shubhkamanaye.

Wish you all a prosperous and memorable Chhath Festival.

-rituraj

Wednesday, 30 September 2020

Road to recovery.... the second chance.

How often have you given second chance to someone and waited for his/her recovery? 

Might be always or often, but you have definitely taken the chance with someone whom you trusted, will bounce back. 
What, if I say, give yourself a second chance and recover from your past. Yes, these are difficult times, believe me, it'll be always difficult till you accept that there is nothing like such a thing.

So, you waited frantically for days to hear the word "negative", the first time in your life you wanted to fail in the test with a minus (-) in your report card. But what about the others who appeared to the test with you, with whom you were sharing all the questions of life and leaking the answers before the test as a philosopher. Didn't they betray you with a plus (+)? Those "positive" people are still your friends, but a distinction in life exam and now they will be called as survivors of the pandemic and you will be seen as a fortunate one. We all hold life so tight that never wanted any tiny particles to breath inside us and made us breathless.

With every moment, life brings something new, something fresh, there is no space for dead flowers in a flowerpot, they should be buried to give nutrition back to the soil. So do your sour memories, painful encounters, fearful nightmares, frightful screams, and, unimaginable sorrows. 

One piece of paper has potential to change your life permanently, what if the results are different than what they are? What you will be doing if life has given you a second chance? 

As the news flashes on your TV set, in a distant country, people are getting infected with an unknown disease. You took a second to think about all those people and thought you are safe as you are far away from them. Months later, your safety net collapsed and you see them everywhere, in news, social media, gossips, chats, notifications, official mails, government advisories, society warning, apartment notice board, and, the list is non-ending. 

Still, you think you will be safe, as an emergency window seat's passenger of an aeroplane, who thinks "will be the first one to survive the crash". Yes, we want to live with a positive attitude but not with a positive test result, nothing wrong in that. However, never willing to fly due to fear of a crash or frightening during the flight is definitely not going to help in your journey. 

Why not, give yourself a second chance and recover from all the sorrow of past and worries of tomorrow? Shouldn't we live in the moment as such this is going to be first and last for us? 

Maybe that test was the alarm that you were snoozing from years, that finally went off and you woke from your comfortable lifestyle. This was the kick that you needed for so long that finally, you started looking at your goals. Yes, we can't escape the destiny but there is no harm to make our own that we want to live in. 

If the hangover of life and death is over then come back to the cliff that you were hanging before. How many chances, you have missed amending your relations with your loved ones, how many goalposts you shifted to live in the comfort zone, how many times you lied to self saying that was beyond your reach? 

A minuscule protein shield with the scrambled head can bring a halt to your life than why not your billions cell's strong body can bring a change to your own life.

Come back to yourself, you lived enough of others expectation, come back to your realization. This is the road to recovery, give yourself a second chance, be the one you always wanted to be. Happy or sad, life will be rolling, find the balance that you seek, be the one you always missed to be. 

- rituraj


Saturday, 26 September 2020

The wait.......

It has been always easy if you know the things before they happen or know the outcome after they happened. However, the uneasiness of unpredictable and unwanted unknown is always self-consuming. 

It is easier to you say "go with the flow" but what if you don't want to swim or if you get drowned? We all have the sense of security with known things and people, however, insecurity peeps in with strangers and unknowns. But how you deal with known strangers when you wish to trust the unknown.

Recently, we have come to know that one of our friends have been found positive with dreaded word Covid-19. The very first reaction was the shiver down the spine to accept the fact that we could also be next in the line. The uneasy moments after the news, when you start recalling the every second of your of encounter with people. 

The time you start from your home, security guy nods at you, thankfully you are covered from head to toe and moving away from him. Next, you stop at different traffic signals where you stare at uncovered faces but thankfully it takes a few seconds and your cross them. What about the parking, when you stop and come out of your comfort, you check everything and everyone around, thankfully people are at distance. Now you adjust your mask, put a face shield and feel protected when you walk through the strangers without looking at them. During your walk, you keep avoiding any closeness with strangers and enter in the building where you work. What about the lift? the most uncomfortable moments when you wait till no one use it, but you can't be fortunate and late always. So you share that steel box with others. You start juggling with your phone to hide the anxious moments while avoiding any physical contact with people and the steel frames. Finally, you reach your floor, get your temperature checked, marked your presence and reach to your spot.

Then you greet your colleagues with a nod and smile while showering everything that you think might have touched somewhere in 70% ethanol solution. Now you lower your guard, drop your shield and lift the mask to breathe fresh air. Others follow you because we are known to each other, what harm a known entity can bring when we have been sharing since years? 

With all those uneasy moments, that you have started in the morning, you wish to forget and live normally, chat with colleagues, share your lunch, enjoy a cup of coffee and lose the uneasiness. However, the air you breathe, the touch you seek, the bread you share, the coffee you spill have something unseen. You might be able to wash your 70% guilt of unknown touch but 30% of known hands give you unwanted that you never seek.

The everyday business goes, as usual, you cover yourself with mask whenever see someone and rinse your hands with alcohol when touching something. At the end of the day, you pack your stuff hurriedly, change your mask, put the face shield, and, move like you were never there. You nod towards your colleagues with the thought tomorrow will be better with fewer people around and leave for the day. Somehow avoiding all known and unknown touches and rub, you reach home, discard the mask, lift the shield and rinse your self with ethanol and soap water. Clothes are never reused for the next day without wash so does go for yourself. You don't wish to come close to people you love without being safe in mind. You wash your skin till it starts peeling, and clean everything that you might have touched to get rid of the thought of anything harmful. 

Finally, you feel safe to breathe again and live again in your house till the next day come. Then suddenly expected but unwanted happens, then you come to know that after all the untouchability you practice you weren't invincible? A shared bread or piece of cake might have broken through the fort of your defence. Someone known turned positive last night and you lost sleep for days to come thinking you will be next until you get your tests done.

And the wait continues...

-rituraj



  

Saturday, 15 August 2020

What is in the name?

The feeling that we know everything, has a catch that we don’t know what is the meaning of everything?

A little shake up in the pyramid of food chain, rattled the world order of the powerful. The tiniest of all, a biomolecule, a connecting link between the living and non-living is now decoding depth of relation between dead and living. Name it, after whatever suitable we feel, a city, a river, a place, a season or just the way it looks, doesn’t matter because origin may be distant to us but now it lives among us or in us. Yes, it is true we can’t predict things and be prepared all the time because we have already messed up our priorities. When the survival is the utmost priority then being the fittest should be the goal. But being so advanced species, which have ever walked on this planet we hardly come under the criteria of the fittest. Our priority was food before, but now it is to how to outlive our own species who we marked as different than us.

Still we as human ask

What is a virus?

Ask a naturalist- One of the random creations of nature, essential to maintain balance between living and non-living.

An Environmentalist- A connecting link between dead and living.

An Evolutionist -An early engineer of nature, which helped in central dogma of life.

A physicist- A system of differentially charged molecules where surface charge and mass of molecule decide fate of the system.

A molecular biologist- A protein shell around a nucleic acid core, which may be DNA or RNA.

A chemist- A natural assembly of biomolecules, creating a stable functional structure.

A virologist- A deadly disease which can be fatal if your immune system is weak.

A common human-?

A disease which locks me alive in a coffin before I die,

A guilt - keeps my loved ones away till I sleep in white bed,

A social stigma- leads people to change their path where I walk,

An emotion- better unseen and untouched when I die wrapped in plastic which can make other sick.  

- rituraj