What hit you most?

What hit you most?

When life starts crumbling in front you, when you lose contact with yourself, when except you all look moving ahead of you, when you realise you are fighting a battle of lost war. What hit you when you find you are no longer the person you wished to be.
Life is changing like a course of a river, but we know all rivers meet in ocean and ocean never changes. Then, nothing changes ever only our perceptive to see them have changed with time. And when the time changes you change or not, never matters you will be affected.
There are many stories of fallen heroes and victorious dark horses. None of the stories really connect with you when you find your story doesn't worth to be heard by someone. Where you will go when your dreams chase you, when your image dishonours you, when your shadow stalks you?

Nothing matters if you sit and think that you were just an observer of yourself who has gone through all and have to go through again  and again.
Burn the world upside down or burn yourself in your agony, the fire within will rise again and again.

Hu bhi,aur nahi bhi hu main.

Jindigi agar bas sans lena ka naam h,

toh main jinda hu..

Bina tere agar jina jindigi h, 

toh main jinda hu

Ho ke tujh se door kanhi

rahna jindigi h,

toh main jinda hu,

teri khamosi me chhupi meri bate h,

hoti h aur se bate, fir bhi me

main khamosh hu,

Har chahre me dhundta jise,

aayne me jo dikhta mujhe

hu bhi aur hu nahi bhi main,

Hu tumse ya koi nahi main.

Mil ke bhi sab se, khoya rahta hu,

Hu sath sab ke fir bhi 

akela rahta hu,

Tera hu main,

Fir kyu tujh se alag rahta hu

Jindigi nahi fir 

kyu main

jinda rahta hu.

Let'me dream with awaken eyes

Hope that, this is all a dream, either I am dead or nothing is true.
What if,I have believed so far is not real or I am a dream itself of myself. It may be true, I just see what I wish to see, if something else comes in front of me I question my existence or the reality of the time where it belongs. Everything must be a dream, otherwise, I won't be seeing this.
 A feeling of trust comes when I see myself in my mirror but when it cracks I see my multiple facets and don't know which one is my true face. Either I have many faces or mirror is showing me its own.
"Where does it go when you know you are going nowhere"?
 When you dream with awake eyes there is less chance to end up with a broken dream.   A Dead dream will always wake you up.

"Hope there would be someone,Whom I have dreamed for. Wish there would be one Whom I have waited for, Believe there must be one, who has loved this one".