If I am wrong and you are right?

If I am wrong and you are right?

Let’s assume I don’t understand your business model and see everything with suspicion. In your views, you are doing better than what you were doing before. I understood that you had a rough time that none of us could ever imagine. Agree completely, now it is safer and happier than before when you have your friends and family around. And to add more points to it, you got money to spend, places to visit, and luxury to live. All success indicators are ticked, and you are flourishing as a budding entrepreneur as you wish to be. Correct, everything is picture perfect.  What next?

What are your goals, passion, and dreams? Don’t make someone’s dreams to yours and fight for it. You may find yourself different to rest of us. This is good, you should be, but we have some similarities. Such as we fight for something which we feel right for us, no matter what the cost is.

Both of us know, how we started and none of us gave any less credit to other’s struggle. But now when we have almost everything to reach our aspiration then what is stopping us. Maybe our scale to measure success is different. In your picture-perfect trajectory of success, milestones are decided by you or your peer? It is great that you read those many books to understand the business better than anyone else and your years of voyage give you a distinct life experience that we don’t have. So, in the ladder of a business module how anyone of your ideals (Steve Jobs or Jack Ma) would have worked. How they took their success or failure? Does this ever bother to them what their peer thinks of them? How they invested their hard-earned money to make more of it? How they see themselves after achieving everything they desired once? If you really think yourself as one of them then think and act like them not what people around you expect from, you. It never matters what others think of you, it only matters what you think of yourself. Fix your priorities based on your need not on someone’s expectations.

I never ever disown any original idea of yours. And don’t think that I don’t support you. The very first time you asked I gave you without any questions. Because I trusted you and always do. Even though, I came to know about everything after its inception. Anyway, it doesn’t matter how you started but it will matter how you finish it. Don’t cloud your judgment with someone else experience? And never buy clothes seeing another wardrobe, you may never need or wear it.

If I am right and you are wrong?..................................................................(And, I wish to be wrong.)

In this case, you just need to understand I never belittle your hard work and achievements. But if something is not right then you should have the courage to accept it. No matter what the situation is, there is always a way out.

You will be my champ no matter what you do. Don’t have a doubt about it.

-rituraj

In the memory of Prof. Rasu Jayabalan- A short-statured man with a king-size heart.

It was my early days in the department of Life Science, NITR. I used to sit along with other scholars on the third floor of the main building. Our seating arrangement was much or less like a round table where everyone with their PC or laptop share the central area. Towards my left, there was a cabin occupied by short stature, slim and average looking man always struggling with a bunch of papers. I noticed that except one or two scholars anyone hardly care about that cabin. Curiously, after ignoring for a few days I asked someone about that cabin, the reply was “he is a faculty”. I was surprised but when I interacted with my fellow scholars (Indira and Moumita) then it was assured that indeed he is a faculty in our department, and they are his grad students.

Still no interaction with that highly energetic and self-composed man without any ego or self-aggrandizement. After a few months, my PhD registration started, and faculties were assigned in my Doctoral scrutiny committee (DSC). I was still exploring NITR and juggling between two departments; Biotechnology and medical engineering (BM) and Life Science (LS). I spend more time in BM but I have to start work in LS too. Meanwhile, I must meet my DSCs to get their signatures on my PhD registration application form.

This was the first time, when I asked Indira about her PI, “Will he sign on my registration form, what if he asks anything? He hardly knows me?” her reply was very calm and comforting- “Don’t worry, Sir is very cool, he will sign without asking anything.”

I went to his cabin, a small desk with a nameplate- Assistant Prof. Rasu Jayabalan, some papers, files, and a PC, very neatly everything was arranged. I asked permission then introduced myself and asked his signature, a flash of 40-50 sec everything done with a smile and well wishes. So far except my PIs none of the faculties bothered to ask or wish anything to me. But here, he goes with a contagious smile wished me all the best for joining the department. From that day, I never forget to wish him and never ever he forgets to reply me back.

In the last five years, we met multiple times, in my PhD registration where he almost single-handedly defended me. Later happily gave me bacterial strains to complete my research work without any precondition of acknowledgment. During one of the International seminar, in which he was the co-convener, I saw him working day-night to ensure everything goes smooth, arranging hostels for visiting students, giving notes to organizers, keeping tabs to faculties and showing full respect to visiting faculties. Everything, he does with charm and eagerness to perfection. Once jokingly, I asked him “Sir, how do you manage all this? Don’t you get angry over people for showing less or no commitment?” His reply was simple “I do my job without expecting anything from others”. He was very enthusiastic in all the departmental activities and used to be students’ favorite.

One of his scholar (Eldin) was in my hostel, who shared more about him, I came to know that he used to pay stipend from his salary to one of the scholars because of delayed funding of the project. I never heard anything like this from other faculties. Master and bachelor students have been very fond of him, due to his punctuality and easy to approach attitude. He was very respectable in theSouth Indian community of NITR, I saw him on multiple occasion how people treat him like a friend rather a Professor.

Once, on a Sunday afternoon, he came to our hostel for lunch with Eldin. We were sitting with other hostelers, along with Eldin, he joined us. The gossip on the table was going on as usual without any hint of being with another hostel warden. When the gossip turned to ruder then Eldin reminded others about the presence of his PI, then people were stunned and ashamed. After lunch, when he went to pay for his plate, I reminded him “Sir, you are a warden, you should not pay”. He replied with a smile; “but not of this hostel”.

Last time, I met him was during my PhD defense when again he defended my work holistically and guided for future work. In the last five years, I used his recommendation letters several times (one of them helped me to secure a fellowship in Lisbon). Even after leaving NITR, I asked for a recommendation and the same day he replied that it has been done.

Last Saturday was one the saddest day when I got a message from my senior that the most admired man of LS with his wife have said goodbye to this earthly world very silently. From the early reports, it seems he took care of everyone before leaving, assigned his students to respective faculties, gave project codes, distributed assets among family members. Such a kind-hearted and well-mannered man who doesn’t want to trouble anyone even in his absence.

I don’t want to know how it happened but please tell why this happened. There are very few people who inspire to do good to others without any intention of return. He was obviously one of those few good men. I wonder how life could be so cruel that a kind-hearted man chooses to embrace death. Maybe we never know the real reason, but one thing is for sure only few are loved by all and they leave early. So, we need to hold them tight and talk to them.
- Rituraj

Revenge is better if hold and served cold

Like many others, I was too in shock and anger filled with revenge. Reading the news from last 5-6 days gave sensing of being lost in my own country. Yes, it was tragic, beyond anyone imagination. Nothing can replace those Braveheart sons of Mother India like many before and after them. We all, had cried inside and wiped our unseen tears and rose to take revenge. But, how a common citizen takes revenge from a cowardly hidden sleaziest monster, what we supposed to do?

Usual trends… First, we post our support on social media, then we made war cry followed by abusing the near and dear of these terrorists describing them as traitors.

Media helps us in doing so either by mainstream or social media both became proxy battlefields and started giving solutions as our army was waiting for these lessons from civilians. Like many others, I am not expert of all these, like any other human being with soul and heart at right place I too feel disturbed and pained. Try to do my bit,

The more genuine trend, first sending some amount in the https://bharatkeveer.gov.in/ then supporting them on social media by posting their logo as my DP without abusing anyone.

But I am not done yet, I want to do more like many of us. We can’t wage a war against these ghastly unhuman creatures, we can’t take weapons and terrorizing their sponsors and supporters. Then what option we have?

We can talk and engage their supporters and sponsors, we can ask the right questions to the establishment, we can create mutual trust between alienated ones and mainstream. We all want a solution so deeply that we are willing to do anything (as many claim). Really,

How many of us really know the ground reality and real issues? The truth we want to see, we switch to that channel or newspaper. Do our generations or coming generations know the word KASHMIR as it is? The bloodied valley of India, which has taken thousands of her sons and daughters and much more willing to sacrifice. Why we have multiple narratives of one single word? Why the same army which helps in floods and avalanches, are treated with stones other days? Why not we tell the truth loud and clear and stop all the nonsense.

It won’t take much to do, first stop false justification of plebiscite by any Indian citizen (no matter what freedom of expression they enjoy), stop media coverage of all separatists, stop any Government beneficiaries to their families, stop the separate identity of Kashmiris (there is no Kashmiris living in India, it is only Indians living in India). All the Indian state (yes, J&K too) based educational institutions, should make sure that any anti-national activity of any amount will lead to termination if proven guilty. Terminate the citizenship and passport of those individuals who want relation across the border (either India or Pakistan), Article 370 A is tricky and take time and will to resolve but we as citizens make it go fast, just by going into valley annually (government should give concession on J&K trips) and engaging with locals as we do other places. Between all this, please no political show up meanwhile our brave army will be cleaning the thorns from the snow for us (as they always do without asking). We should do our bit not once but always. 

 #CRPF #WithIndianArmy #An_Indian     

Lisboa Diaries

Every day since the day I arrived here. Lisboa/ Lisbon has something different to offer which has never been heard and said before.
I was very sceptical about the new experiences and changes around myself.
Being a foreign student in the most prestigious university in this country gives a sense of pride.
From the very first moment when I put my foot on this land, I felt a strong connection within. The first night I spent in a very small room of my promised apartment but next morning things started changing all round.
My flatmates were non-Portuguese, so English become a way of communication with all. Slowly, I started learning greetings and saying "Obrigado" to each and everyone.
When you arrived a place which speaks a different language, eat different foods, wear different wardrobes and still accept you as their one. You will be astonished and surprised to their humbleness and innocence.

Paused moments +FB's friends

This has been years since I met my friends from schools, colleges and previous workplaces.
Today, I was looking at my FB friend list and found I have more or less 300 friends but in reality, I hardly know about 30 of them.
When  I was scrolling down on my list then I started recalling them by their name and time period when we became friends. In these many years, I never gave a second thought about their lives may be they did same. Yup, it is true they might have liked most of my pics from exotic locations and life events. I might have done the same without even looking at them. I hardly know names of their partners and their children and I guess they must not be aware of what I do exactly.
Sometimes, I feel to unfriend most of them because we no longer have a friendship which really reflects on our lives. But, I couldn't do it, reason must be a sense of belonging. Every friend on that list is my past or present, there is no guarantee that they 'll go in future too, Still, they hold some pieces of me when I had met them.
It is true, we are no longer getting affected by our friends from FB, we can't remember their full name forgot the birthdays and anniversaries. Ya, it feels good to see the number of posts on our timeline on our birthdays and number of likes on our pics. The feeling of being known to many gives a false celebrity feeling to us which we like as much as we like our selfies.
Instead of all this, I tried to look into my friends' timelines and realise I missed many things of their lives.
I missed to wish them on their birthdays, their marriages or anniversaries, new jobs, new house and new lives. I missed being part of their lives. But neither, they care about it any longer nor I feel left out. Yes, we are still friends some might have changed their phone numbers or places which I don't know still we are friends.
I recalled the days before being dependent of Technology this much. We used to write on our slam books with multi-colours so that people could remember us. The diary with addresses looks like secrets to the new world with friends only.
I never had the besties but always have the best of them.
Sometimes, When I scroll down on my phone and thinking to call someone and finally looking at all the numbers and thinking about the last call which I hardly recall. Then, I couldn't finalise to call whom and put the phone down.
Still, I have many friends and I believe I am also from the list of many FB's Posts.
Don't know exactly what I miss about all of them but I missed being a friend to all, so do they.

What hit you most?

What hit you most?

When life starts crumbling in front you, when you lose contact with yourself, when except you all look moving ahead of you, when you realise you are fighting a battle of lost war. What hit you when you find you are no longer the person you wished to be.
Life is changing like a course of a river, but we know all rivers meet in ocean and ocean never changes. Then, nothing changes ever only our perceptive to see them have changed with time. And when the time changes you change or not, never matters you will be affected.
There are many stories of fallen heroes and victorious dark horses. None of the stories really connect with you when you find your story doesn't worth to be heard by someone. Where you will go when your dreams chase you, when your image dishonours you, when your shadow stalks you?

Nothing matters if you sit and think that you were just an observer of yourself who has gone through all and have to go through again  and again.
Burn the world upside down or burn yourself in your agony, the fire within will rise again and again.

Hu bhi,aur nahi bhi hu main.

Jindigi agar bas sans lena ka naam h,

toh main jinda hu..

Bina tere agar jina jindigi h, 

toh main jinda hu

Ho ke tujh se door kanhi

rahna jindigi h,

toh main jinda hu,

teri khamosi me chhupi meri bate h,

hoti h aur se bate, fir bhi me

main khamosh hu,

Har chahre me dhundta jise,

aayne me jo dikhta mujhe

hu bhi aur hu nahi bhi main,

Hu tumse ya koi nahi main.

Mil ke bhi sab se, khoya rahta hu,

Hu sath sab ke fir bhi 

akela rahta hu,

Tera hu main,

Fir kyu tujh se alag rahta hu

Jindigi nahi fir 

kyu main

jinda rahta hu.