Road to recovery.... the second chance.

How often have you given second chance to someone and waited for his/her recovery? 

Might be always or often, but you have definitely taken the chance with someone whom you trusted, will bounce back. 
What, if I say, give yourself a second chance and recover from your past. Yes, these are difficult times, believe me, it'll be always difficult till you accept that there is nothing like such a thing.

So, you waited frantically for days to hear the word "negative", the first time in your life you wanted to fail in the test with a minus (-) in your report card. But what about the others who appeared to the test with you, with whom you were sharing all the questions of life and leaking the answers before the test as a philosopher. Didn't they betray you with a plus (+)? Those "positive" people are still your friends, but a distinction in life exam and now they will be called as survivors of the pandemic and you will be seen as a fortunate one. We all hold life so tight that never wanted any tiny particles to breath inside us and made us breathless.

With every moment, life brings something new, something fresh, there is no space for dead flowers in a flowerpot, they should be buried to give nutrition back to the soil. So do your sour memories, painful encounters, fearful nightmares, frightful screams, and, unimaginable sorrows. 

One piece of paper has potential to change your life permanently, what if the results are different than what they are? What you will be doing if life has given you a second chance? 

As the news flashes on your TV set, in a distant country, people are getting infected with an unknown disease. You took a second to think about all those people and thought you are safe as you are far away from them. Months later, your safety net collapsed and you see them everywhere, in news, social media, gossips, chats, notifications, official mails, government advisories, society warning, apartment notice board, and, the list is non-ending. 

Still, you think you will be safe, as an emergency window seat's passenger of an aeroplane, who thinks "will be the first one to survive the crash". Yes, we want to live with a positive attitude but not with a positive test result, nothing wrong in that. However, never willing to fly due to fear of a crash or frightening during the flight is definitely not going to help in your journey. 

Why not, give yourself a second chance and recover from all the sorrow of past and worries of tomorrow? Shouldn't we live in the moment as such this is going to be first and last for us? 

Maybe that test was the alarm that you were snoozing from years, that finally went off and you woke from your comfortable lifestyle. This was the kick that you needed for so long that finally, you started looking at your goals. Yes, we can't escape the destiny but there is no harm to make our own that we want to live in. 

If the hangover of life and death is over then come back to the cliff that you were hanging before. How many chances, you have missed amending your relations with your loved ones, how many goalposts you shifted to live in the comfort zone, how many times you lied to self saying that was beyond your reach? 

A minuscule protein shield with the scrambled head can bring a halt to your life than why not your billions cell's strong body can bring a change to your own life.

Come back to yourself, you lived enough of others expectation, come back to your realization. This is the road to recovery, give yourself a second chance, be the one you always wanted to be. Happy or sad, life will be rolling, find the balance that you seek, be the one you always missed to be. 

- rituraj

The wait.......

It has been always easy if you know the things before they happen or know the outcome after they happened. However, the uneasiness of unpredictable and unwanted unknown is always self-consuming. 

It is easier to you say "go with the flow" but what if you don't want to swim or if you get drowned? We all have the sense of security with known things and people, however, insecurity peeps in with strangers and unknowns. But how you deal with known strangers when you wish to trust the unknown.

Recently, we have come to know that one of our friends have been found positive with dreaded word Covid-19. The very first reaction was the shiver down the spine to accept the fact that we could also be next in the line. The uneasy moments after the news, when you start recalling the every second of your of encounter with people. 

The time you start from your home, security guy nods at you, thankfully you are covered from head to toe and moving away from him. Next, you stop at different traffic signals where you stare at uncovered faces but thankfully it takes a few seconds and your cross them. What about the parking, when you stop and come out of your comfort, you check everything and everyone around, thankfully people are at distance. Now you adjust your mask, put a face shield and feel protected when you walk through the strangers without looking at them. During your walk, you keep avoiding any closeness with strangers and enter in the building where you work. What about the lift? the most uncomfortable moments when you wait till no one use it, but you can't be fortunate and late always. So you share that steel box with others. You start juggling with your phone to hide the anxious moments while avoiding any physical contact with people and the steel frames. Finally, you reach your floor, get your temperature checked, marked your presence and reach to your spot.

Then you greet your colleagues with a nod and smile while showering everything that you think might have touched somewhere in 70% ethanol solution. Now you lower your guard, drop your shield and lift the mask to breathe fresh air. Others follow you because we are known to each other, what harm a known entity can bring when we have been sharing since years? 

With all those uneasy moments, that you have started in the morning, you wish to forget and live normally, chat with colleagues, share your lunch, enjoy a cup of coffee and lose the uneasiness. However, the air you breathe, the touch you seek, the bread you share, the coffee you spill have something unseen. You might be able to wash your 70% guilt of unknown touch but 30% of known hands give you unwanted that you never seek.

The everyday business goes, as usual, you cover yourself with mask whenever see someone and rinse your hands with alcohol when touching something. At the end of the day, you pack your stuff hurriedly, change your mask, put the face shield, and, move like you were never there. You nod towards your colleagues with the thought tomorrow will be better with fewer people around and leave for the day. Somehow avoiding all known and unknown touches and rub, you reach home, discard the mask, lift the shield and rinse your self with ethanol and soap water. Clothes are never reused for the next day without wash so does go for yourself. You don't wish to come close to people you love without being safe in mind. You wash your skin till it starts peeling, and clean everything that you might have touched to get rid of the thought of anything harmful. 

Finally, you feel safe to breathe again and live again in your house till the next day come. Then suddenly expected but unwanted happens, then you come to know that after all the untouchability you practice you weren't invincible? A shared bread or piece of cake might have broken through the fort of your defence. Someone known turned positive last night and you lost sleep for days to come thinking you will be next until you get your tests done.

And the wait continues...

-rituraj